Helping your child back to school


Starting back at school after a long summer break can be a welcome return to routine for some children and their families. For others, it can be a difficult time, especially if your child is worried or anxious about going back to school. Here are some tips to help ease your child (and you!) back to school.

Get them school ready

It’s natural for back to school to be a shock to the system for everyone, especially if your child has been enjoying leisurely mornings over the summer. So, if possible, start to ease children back into things a few days beforehand. Ensure the basics are in place so they can manage the change in routine and their emotions effectively.

So, get them to bed a bit earlier and if necessary, get them up a little earlier a few days beforehand. Make sure they have good food inside them (no massive bags of Haribo the night before!), and that uniforms, bags and pencil cases are all ready to go so there’s no mad dash on the first day (note to self!).

If your child is going to school for the first time (a big step for you all!) you could practice the first day routine so they know what to expect.

Discuss worries about school

Make sure you create some time and space to spend some relaxed time with your child before they go back to school. Check in with them and see how they feel about the start of the new term.

If anxieties surface, encourage them to talk about how they’re feeling and try to get to the bottom of why. Just doing this can often make children feel better – most of us feel a sense of relief having shared our worries with someone supportive and quite often that makes them disappear!

If possible or necessary, encourage your child to come up with strategies to help them deal with their worries. For example if they’re worried about a particular child being mean to them, discuss how they could deal with it if it happens. Having a practical plan can really help children feel that they know what to do if something happens. You could write both the worries and how to deal with them somewhere to refer back to if helpful.

Focus on the good stuff about school

While it’s important to talk to children about any worries they might have, it’s also really helpful to encourage them to focus on the positives – the things about school they are looking forward. This is helping them to understand that how they think about something can make a difference. It might also help to gently teach them that doing things we feel nervous about  is both necessary in life and actually something to be encouraged.

It might be that they’ll enjoy seeing their friends, or get to play their favourite sport or with their favourite toy, or even that the school lunches are way better than your cooking! Whatever it is, find something that they can look forward to and help them to focus their attention on that.

Having something to look forward to as a family can also help. For example, you could plan a day trip at the weekend or to go to their favourite lunch spot. Do remember that they may well be tired after the first week back and you don’t want to have one of those ‘WE-ARE-SUPPOSED-TO-BE-HAVING-FUN!’ times (!). The important thing is to just some time together doing something a bit special. It will give you all something to look forward to and provide a great opportunity to chat about the first week back at school. It could even simply be a special weekend breakfast…pancakes anyone?! 😉

Teach them some basic breathing exercises

If your child gets anxious it can be really helpful to teach them some basic breathing exercises to help to calm them down – just some simple deep breaths will help. Your child’s willingness to do this will depend on their age, however basic calming breathing exercises can really help us all to stay calm if we’re starting to feel nervous or worried. Primary children really enjoy being taught ‘big belly breathing’ and it’s something you can do together.

Big Belly Breathing

  • Sit or lie down and relax your body
  • Start to focus on your breathing, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth]
  • Gradually start to take deeper breaths, focussing on filling up your belly so it’s really big as you breath in, then fully deflating it as you breathe out
  • Try to breath in for a count of 5 and out for a count of 7 (or 3 in and 5 out – just make the out breath longer)
  • Carry on for 3-5 minutes

If your child is particularly anxious,you can read more about dealing with anxiety (written for adults but applicable to children) in this post I wrote earlier in the year. There are also some nice exercises in this article you could try with them.

Speak to your child’s teacher

If you child is particularly worried about something and it’s , it’s usually best to let the school know sooner rather than later. As a form tutor and class teacher I was always happy to speak to parents about their child and wanted to help where I could.

Yes, teachers are busy at the start of the year, but good teachers are never too busy to talk about a child’s worries and always want the best for the children in their care. A quick email or a chat will help them to understand what might be going on with your child and allow them to help if needed, or just keep an eye on things. It will make you feel better too!

Good luck!

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